i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He did a backflip because drugs
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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