what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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