We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Randomize
