i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
