no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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