He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Just high enough for therapy.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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