dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
