You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
