and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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