Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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