I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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