I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
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