youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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