I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Randomize
