No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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