Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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