I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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