We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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