i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
