My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
