I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
