Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
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