I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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