you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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