Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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