Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
