i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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