I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize