I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
