Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
