never play flip cup with pint glasses
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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