I'm gonna have a badass scar
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
