no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
