you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
