physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
