You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
