i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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