3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
