Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
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You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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