Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
True strength comes from lack of pants
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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