i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
