nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize