I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
