sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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