So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
