you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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