oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize