note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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