Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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