PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
