I smell stomach acid.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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