Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I will be naked everywhere
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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