she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
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I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
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Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Never underestimate the power of titties
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