If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
