Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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