you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Someone shattered a urinal.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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