if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
