i was rollin on her like bob the builder
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize