If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
