WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
