remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
