well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
