Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
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